There's a new religion
And it's hot off the shelf
Where the congregation
Have to worship themselves
There's no fire and brimstone
But there's an inglenook
Where you can take communion
From a TV cook
There are Ten Commandments
And you can please yourself
If you keep or break them
You're still condemned to Hell
If you've a dollar in the bank
And that will see you through
But if your neighbour has a dollar
Well then you'd better get two
We can't negotiate a contract
A package to suit your claim
You'll get no justice in that sense
'Cos nobody's ever to blame
There's a high priestess
She knows the spice of life
She's only skin and bone
But she's a football wife
They take an altar to the terrace
So we can name our saints
You're given fifteen minutes
With karaoke brains
You'd better choose your friends
Very carefully
If they can help you network
Well they're no use to me
Take what you want
Not what you need
We used to have that problem
Now they're a dying breed
