If I Was The Priest

There's a light on yonder mountain And it's callin' me to shine There's a girl over by the water fountain And she's askin' to be mine And Jesus is standing in the doorway In a buckskin jacket, boots and spurs so fine Says, "We need you, son, tonight up in Dodge City 'Cause there's just too many outlaws Tryin' to work the same line" Now if Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief If papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line There's still too many bad boys Tryin' to work the same line Well sweet Virgin Mary runs the Holy Grail saloon With a nickel she'll give ya whiskey And a personally blessed balloon And the Holy Ghost is the host with the most He runs the burlesque show Where they'll let you in for free And they hit you when you go Mary's serving Mass on Sunday And she sells her body on Monday To the bootlegger who paid the highest price But he don't know he got stuck with a loser She's a stone junkie, what's more she's a user She's only been made once or twice By some kind of magic If Jesus was a sheriff and I was the priest If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief And papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line There's still too many outlaws Tryin' to work the same line Well things ain't been the same in heaven Since big bad Bobby came to town He's been known to down eleven Then ask for another round Me, I got scabs on my knees From kneeling way too long It's about time I played the man Took a stand where I belong Yeah, forget about the old friends and the old times There's just too many new boys Tryin' to work the same line Well if Jesus was a sheriff and I was the priest If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief And papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line There's just too many outlaws Tryin' to work the same line Well there's a light On yonder mountain And it's callin' me to shine There's a girl Over by the water fountain And she's askin' to be mine Jesus is standing in the doorway Six-guns drawn, and ready to fan Said, "We need you tonight, son, up in Dodge City" Told him I was already overdue for Cheyenne If Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief If papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line There's still too many bad boys Tryin' to work the same line If Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief If papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line There's still too many bad boys Tryin' to work the same line If Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest