Army

Well, I thought about the army Dad said, "Son, you're fucking high" And I thought, "Yeah, there's a first for everything" So I took my old man's advice Three sad semesters It was only $15,000 spent in bed I thought about the army I dropped out and joined a band instead Grew a mustache and a mullet Got a job at Chick-Fil-A Citing artistic differences The band broke up in May And in June, reformed without me And they got a different name I nuked another Grandma's apple pie And hung my head in shame, no Been thinking a lot today Been thinking a lot today Oh, think I'll write a screenplay Oh, think I'll take you to L.A Oh, think I'll get it done yesterday Aw, shit In this time of introspection On the eve of my election I say to my reflection "God, please spare me more rejection" 'Cause my peers, they criticize me And my ex-wives all despise me Try to put it all behind me But my redneck past is nipping at my heels Thinking a lot today Been thinking a lot today Been thinking a lot today I thought about the army