Getting Married Today (Glee Cast Version)

Bless this day, pinnacle of life

Husband joined to wife

The heart leaps up to behold

This golden day

Emma, I can't find my shoes

Today is for Emma

Emma, I give you the rest of my life

To cherish and to keep you

To honor you forever

Today is for Emma

My happily soon-to-be wife

Emma, we're really getting married

Pardon me, is everybody there?

Because if everybody's there

I want to thank you all for coming to the wedding

I'd appreciate your going even more

I mean, you must have lots of better things to do

And not a word of this to Will, remember Will?

You know, the man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not

'Cause I wouldn't ruin anyone as wonderful as he is

But I thank you all for the gifts and the flowers

Thank you all, now, it's back to the showers

Don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today

Bless this day, tragedy of life

Husband joined to wife

The heart sinks down and feels dead

This dreadful day

Emma, I can't find my good cufflinks

They're on the dresser, right next to my suicide note

Listen everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for

A wedding, what's a wedding?

It's a prehistoric ritual

Where everybody promises fidelity forever

Which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard

And which is followed by a honeymoon

Where suddenly he'll realize he's saddled with a nut

And wanna kill me, which he should

So thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married

Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married

You've been grand, but I'm not getting married

Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married

And don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today

Go, can't you go?

Why is nobody listening?

Goodbye, go and cry at another person's wake

If you're quick, for a kick, you could pick up a christening

But please, on my knees, there's a human life at stake

Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear

Do you wanna see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you?

It isn't only Will who may be ruining his life

You know, we'll both of us be losing our identities

I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to see him Monday

But by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage

I'm not well, so I'm not getting married

You've been swell, but I'm not getting married

Clear the hall, 'cause I'm not getting married

Thank you all, but I'm not getting married

And don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today

Bless this bride, totally insane

Slipping down the drain

And bless this day in our hearts

As it starts to rain

Today is for Emma

Go, can't you go?

Look, you know I adore you all

Emma, I give you the rest of my life

But why watch me die like Eliza on the ice?

To cherish and to keep you

But perhaps I'll collapse in the apse right before you all

To honor you forever

So take back the cake, burn the shoes, and boil the rice

Today is for Emma

Look, I didn't wanna have to tell you

But I may be coming down with hepatitis

My happily soon-to-be wife

And I think I'm gonna faint

So, if you wanna see me faint, I'll do it happily

But wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral?

My adorable wife

So thank you for the twenty-seven dinner plates

The thirty-seven butter knives, forty-seven paperweights

Fifty-seven candleholders

One more thing, I'm not getting married

I softly say, but I'm not getting married

With this ring, still, I'm not getting married

I thee wed, see, I'm not getting married

Now let us pray that we're not getting married today