Vending Machine of Love (A Cappella)

This is a song about soft drinks, and nothing else Get your mind out of the gutter Hey, guys, are your lips dry? Any desiccated ladies trying to get by? I know the best way for the girls and the boys to Come together and enjoy a little moisture So you're waiting on the mate that's one-a-million? And carbonation ain't the way that you envisioned? You say it's strange, but, baby, shed your inhibitions And let your date slip into something aluminium She's elegant and eloquent and so effervescent Subtle bubbles in my stubble feeling ever so pleasant (haha) Never thought I'd find a girl with such a delicate essence Free with the meal deal at the delicatessen, uh Saw you sittin' in the fridge with a twinkle Are you a multipack Can or are you single? A little sipping and a spritz isn't sinful I'm just finna get my finger in your ring pull So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you've been dreaming of If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle 330mil Get lost in the froth as the foam expends Get your loving while you're glugging on some OnlyCans Now, you've seen other paysite galleries But none of those girls taste like raspberries So if you think we're just some obscene cannery All our Cans are over 18 calories So give a spray for some flirtatious behaviour (oh) That come-hither hiss is what you came for We've been brewing up a plethora of flavours Say we're crude, you can never say we're tasteless So if you drink it straight or with a mixer (oh) Bring a mister or a missus home for dinner Everybody's got a different fizzle in their spritzer What's it matter what ingredients are on your sticker? I haven't met you all, but it's contextual You're all impeccable, if it's consensual If you're ace, demi, pan, flexible End of the day we are all can-sexual, ha! So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you've been dreaming of If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle three-thirty mil We can semi-guarantee that we won't be banned Get your loving while you're glugging on some OnlyCans May be fizzy, but I'll spill a little candour Sure, it's sticky, but we'll lick the spillage after There's only one app fro tin can philanderers Snapping what the Can did with your candid camera, uh Can a Can cancan? Yes, it can, all the Cans in Cannes are Canuck Cans in Canada, manly Cans in Canberra in canoes Grabbing noodles and canoodling with Cans in Cần Thơ Mexican Cans in Cancún, scandalously scantily clad in their scanties and decanting at you Camping with a Scandinavian Can, under a canopy, alone in a canyon, with your Can boo Share a cannoli with Italian Cans on the canals before a candlelit dance Then canter off to Canterbury for a canny romance, you'd better cancel your plans This Can-sanova can't handle the demand Of Cantabrian Cañ-oritas in cantinas with fans On the Canary Islands, strip Canasta 'til you're down to your pants And your Can-panion froths over your hand Damn, these Cantonese Shizes are your creamiest stans! So go over to Can-bodia You can let the local flavour flow over you Getting down with the Hard Round Chromium Loving's never been so low sodium Can looking like a snack? That's a canapé Can-paigning like Barack? That's a candidate Can sweet on your tongue? That's a candy cane Can rocking them guns? That's some cannonade Feel that Can in your heart? That's a cannula Can sends its regards? That's a can-nister (oh, that's a can-nister, baby) Inquisitive Can? That's a canvasser Insensitive Cans? Cantankerous! So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you've been dreaming of If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle three-thirty mil Hey, don't touch, just hold the cam! Get your loving while you're glugging on some OnlyCans So download OnlyCans, the app for soda lovers It's got very high ratings Oh, oh, no, sorry, it's, it's "very hydrating" My mistake